In Memory of The Young Jester – Whereby The Deniable Entry of the Long Awaited Line Leaves Us Alone and Wanting

[Seconds past]

They come in their droves, the distinguished, the disturbed, the devotees, and the desired; the diseased, the divagates, the deranged, and the dumb, and the drummers that go a-drumming a-drumming;

the doorkeepers, the deep diggers, the dawn dancers, and the dusk dragons; and the drummers that go a-drumming a-drumming;

Wearily. They come, in their droves and droves.

The darkest divine and the devilish devils.

[Minutes past]

I wish they were quicker. I wish they were faster. This Death is not a want for wanting; it is untimely, to say the least. But the wheels of time, they trudge on and on, and I do not think I can stop them from trudging, anymore than a serpent may lay down his venom, or a woodsman his axe…I fear I am losing this battle. Perhaps you can find me some place to rest, dear stranger, a place for quietness and restitute, a place where wandering minds can retire and wonder no more.

[Hours past]

They denied my entry to the club today. Too old. There I was, standing forever, waiting in line.

And they said: Too old.

Fuckers.

“Come on,” I’d yelled back. “It’s just one fucking year, it doesn’t make much of a difference does it?”

They looked at me as if I’d broken their backs on a mountain.

Well you know what. Fuck the club.

Fuck Jimi, fuck Cobain, fuck Janis.

“Fucking musicians”.

I’ll go find my own happy place, somewhere preferably down under.

[Days past]

The Jester jests,

and juggles four golden apples as he sings his song to the gathered peoples in the King’s court,

1.

He comes upon the first man,

a jovial looking fellow,

fat and plump and hearty from full meals and honey baths,

And stops abruptly,

“Sirrah, amuse a fool amongst fools with the asking of A Question-”

The man hesitates. Then nods

“Tell me, my Lord, what should one take out of, if one’s house was set on Burning Fire?”

The man thinks. Then answers

“I would take my money bags of gold and silver, for one’s Good Fortune cannot be lost”

The Jester smiles and nods,

“For indeed, my Lord, you must surely be Telfibi of the Greater Riches,

whose Wealth spreads throughout the Kingdom through merchants and trades and towns…”

The man nods with astonishment, and laughs heartily

“…and whose head is as thick as a single copper coin from Croydonia”

And there was Laughter amongst the gathered.

He bites the first apple and throws it to the man who catches it

He begins to juggle again.

2.

He comes upon the second man,

a thin and sullen looking old folk,

thin and sad and skeletal from sleepless nights and worrisome dreams,

“Permit me, my Lord, but what should one take out of, if one’s house was set on Burning Fire?”

The man thinks for a moment. Then answers

“I would take my five wives and seven children, for one’s Precious Bloodline cannot be lost”

The Jester smiles and curtseys,

“For indeed, my Lord, you must surely be Prince Hämäläinen of the Gwendar Regions,

whose Armies and Keep spreads from the North Seas to its Rivers to the Great Eastern Deserts…”

The man nods suspiciously, and chuckles under a nervous breath

“…and whose invisible monsters and enemies haunt the vast entirety of your dreamscapes”

And there was Greater Laughter amongst the gathered.

He bites the second apple and throws it to the man who catches it

He begins to juggle again.

3.

Now he reaches the Princess,

a proud and prudish woman,

with fair skin and powdered nose and healthy wig,

“Amuse me, my Lady, but what should one take out of, if one’s house was set on Burning Fire?”

The Princess thinks for a moment. Then answers

“Why I would take my lovers and wine, for one’s Guilty Pleasures cannot be lost”

The Jester smiles and cartwheels,

“For indeed, my Princess, you must surely be the Queen of all Princesses,

who shall inherit this Noble Kingdom and Lands with your Grace and Beauty…”

The Queen nods joyfully, and giggles in delight

“…and whose infinite host of sore infections have ridden through from faraway gardens to our very own courts”

And there was Even Greater Laughter amongst the gathered.

He bites the third apple and throws it to the woman who catches it

He begins to juggle with the final apple.

4.

The Jester jests,

in front of his audience, with one golden apple,

And the first man yells

“Off with his Head, for he has insulted my pride and veracity in matters of Wealth and Riches”

And the second man echoes

“Off with his Hands and Feet, for he has tainted my privy and honor in matters of Dreaming and Wakening”

And the Princess declares

“Fool amongst fools, I shall have your Head, for you have insulted my purity and chastity in matters of Pleasure and Play”

And there was Silence amongst the gathered

For the King had entered the room

And all could sense that there was much to be seen and heard

“My Fool, I have heard your songs and riddles through these walls,

whilst I tended to my business of Rule and Reign

Enough with your Merry Jokes and Cheery Choruses

I shall answer your Question of Questions

And let us return to our Lives and Work”

The Jester stops and catches the apple, he nods and listens

The King answers, with his booming voice of thunder

“…That I would take out the Fire itself, from the domains of my Kingdom and House

for one’s Sanity and Good Sense cannot be lost,

lest we all be but Fools”

The Jester throws the golden apple to the King who catches it

The King examines the perfect fruit in his hand and smiles

And he bites it

“A Wise man and a Fool, my King!

O, the Difference of a Man and a Man!”

[Months and Years past]

52 cards in play

but the ones left out, the Jokers and the Fools

they’re the ones who keep things a-running

10,000 Deaths and Several Explanations

“Stalemate,” a voice declares in the darkness, as the queen from midnight black ambushes the petrified king in his cornered throne.

“I give up,” he proclaims, hands raised from the board, white handkerchief in air, the rousing choruses of surrender echoing already, from the battlefields outside.

“Too late, my lord” says the voice wistfully, quietly. And I watch in silence as the queen swings her sharpened blade silently through the air, and a gushing of blood spills onto silver linoleum tiles and golden royal wallpapers, in horror.

 

-

 

            “What does it all mean, then?” I wheeze, struggling, the cold air condensing around my lungs, my eyes watering from the freezing temperatures. She looks down on me, is it pity? No. “It’s remorse isn’t it?” I ask.

            She nods. “It won’t hurt a bit, promise.” She pulls the trigger, and she’s right.

 

-

 

            I will not lie to you when I say that I’m near hell’s gate. It smokes here, and smells like rotten turpentine, the taxidermic fumes slowly crawling along my skin. It burns red. The gatekeeper doesn’t look pleased to see me, but I don’t give a fuck. He stares at me, eyes burning my nerves to stone.

“A good joke, would provide safe passage for you, little white offspring of Adam,” he says with a smirk. “That is, if you know one. Hur hur hur.”

Fucking basilisks. They and their fucking games.

I nod, I light a cigarette, and I begin. “A priest, a rabbi, and Buddha, walk along the hallways of hell…” I begin the joke, but I never finish it – my hands crushing his skull, elbows tucking in blows, big heavy ones, to his body, to his spine, to his other spine. Pretty soon it’s all skin and meat and the end.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mutters, and dies from laughter. That’s the punch line of the decade, I can guarantee you that.

I finish the cigarette and walk in.

 

-

 

            Piss off will you? I cup the can of beer, warming myself against the fire. What do you mean How are you? I’m fine. I’m good. I’ve been living life, that’s how I am. You can’t expect me to write down every frigging minute of my life down do you? Some people do. They think their little scraps of memories and rememberings actually mean something. Well they don’t. Not in a million years. Not even close. It means shit, I tell you. All that matters, is this. Beer, and something to keep you warm. Coats, blankets, fire. Food’s optional. Now bugger off.